Ready to Die

Last night I had a dream that I encountered a criminal/psychopath in a canyon. We were all alone, and he became hostile. I think he was trying to kill himself. But I was confident that I could help him. I thought that I could solve the problem effortlessly. But he then pulled a knife on me, and pointed it at my throat. I remember feeling like I wasn't ready to die, like I couldn't face it. So I woke up from the dream, and I've been wondering why I felt uneasy and uncomfortable. Of course, no one wants to die, but it was a dream- I had some awareness of the fact that it wasn't real, but I still felt threatened. My dream showed me an underlying, subconscious fear that I carry with me at all times. I notice that it is actually the fear that makes me suffer- the pain itself of dying is nothing in comparison! In fact, I doubt that there is no pain if I am willing to die anyway. I've had other similar dreams of where I was going to die, and I would wake up and realize that I couldn't die.

The mind is quite interesting. After a while, the mind is revealed to be every world in existence, include the physical world, the dream world, and the dimensional world. It's all a manifestation. But it's interesting to use dreams to deal with your fears. You get to watch your reactions to your own creation. You get to see that you created the psychopath, and that you allowed it to make you afraid! It's a great feeling, but it's frustrating at the same time, because you're still suffering.

I now know that it is my problem for sure- that nothing can hurt me or make me suffer except for myself. I create the walls and the sharp objects and the paranoia! Therefore, I can rest. I can embrace my fears and my sickness, because I know I am its creator, its source of energy. I am ready to die, because I know that I am death. I am the killer and the victim. It is all a game, all a dream, and I am its author.