Ready to Die

Last night I had a dream that I encountered a criminal/psychopath in a canyon. We were all alone, and he became hostile. I think he was trying to kill himself. But I was confident that I could help him. I thought that I could solve the problem effortlessly. But he then pulled a knife on me, and pointed it at my throat. I remember feeling like I wasn't ready to die, like I couldn't face it. So I woke up from the dream, and I've been wondering why I felt uneasy and uncomfortable. Of course, no one wants to die, but it was a dream- I had some awareness of the fact that it wasn't real, but I still felt threatened. My dream showed me an underlying, subconscious fear that I carry with me at all times. I notice that it is actually the fear that makes me suffer- the pain itself of dying is nothing in comparison! In fact, I doubt that there is no pain if I am willing to die anyway. I've had other similar dreams of where I was going to die, and I would wake up and realize that I couldn't die.

The mind is quite interesting. After a while, the mind is revealed to be every world in existence, include the physical world, the dream world, and the dimensional world. It's all a manifestation. But it's interesting to use dreams to deal with your fears. You get to watch your reactions to your own creation. You get to see that you created the psychopath, and that you allowed it to make you afraid! It's a great feeling, but it's frustrating at the same time, because you're still suffering.

I now know that it is my problem for sure- that nothing can hurt me or make me suffer except for myself. I create the walls and the sharp objects and the paranoia! Therefore, I can rest. I can embrace my fears and my sickness, because I know I am its creator, its source of energy. I am ready to die, because I know that I am death. I am the killer and the victim. It is all a game, all a dream, and I am its author.

Faith/Hope is Useless

I've noticed that Christians use the words faith, hope, and love as essential aspects or virtues of their religion. For me, however, I see no use in any of them. They are all mind activities and artificial truths.

Faith:
The use of the word faith implies that one puts trust in God or in Christ. Those who have faith do so in order to make sure that they are protected by the Holy Trinity. "I have faith that God will guide me in the right direction." This seems necessary; people believe that we will not be able to function properly without the guidance of God. If there is no one to guide us, what will we do, right? If this is what you believe, you have lost your own center of power. You will give it all over to God and make assumptions about what God is doing. You will be God's slave, but you won't realize that you are actually doing this to yourself. That power that you think is God was actually created by you so that you could have faith in Him. You created God to make him do whatever you want him to do! Your presence is hidden or seemingly removed from yourself in order to simulate your idea of God! This means your faith is faith in your own system! Let go of all your concepts of faith in a higher power! You are the power! And your power is not is the higher power, but it is not above you, below you, nor separate from you! That power is no other than yourself and no other than anyone else!

Hope:
Hope is a very delusional concept. It brings in the idea of being positive, which is central in New Age teachings. Instead of being negative, you can be positive! Great! It's the other side of the coin! Anyway, hope obviously involves the future. It is the belief that something great is going to happen in the future... a positive change of some sort. This is quite a sad thing, because it is an attempt to be positive while overlooking the present. And when the present is ignored, that suggests that the present is undesirable or displeasing. Christians and other related religious groups are hoping that something great will happen later in their lives. By doing so, you are again overlooking your own presence! You are defining yourself as someone who is lacking something or is incomplete. And if you always have hope, you will always define yourself as incomplete! Everyone knows that even if our hopes come true, we still feel incomplete! Then we hope for something else. And it never ends, until we make the choice to be aware of our own existence, our own presence, our own wholeness.

Love:
This is the most controversial one. This is a virtue because everyone knows how it feels to be loved. No one wants to be hated. So we attempt to extend perfect love to others, in hope that we will be loved back. We want to be recognized. But again, this "need" to be recognized implies that we are incomplete! And so this love is not unconditional, because we expect love in return. The aim of the virtue itself blocks the follower from ever reaching unconditional love. Why? Because we need to get rid of the mind defining who we are as needing or afraid or weak. We have to let all ideas of ourself go so that we can let "love" appear as who we are. And then there is no need to love anyone else... we will all be revealed to be united, so there is no way that we could not love, since we are everyone, as one.

The problem with these virtues is that they are all mind created, and suppress the awareness of ourselves. All we need to "do" is to stop doing and allow ourselves to exist instead of trying to go somewhere else with who we are.

Misidentification

Humans have become used to creating ideas with the mind so that they could believe in them without question. Some examples are the idea of God, of heaven, of angels- anything sacred and divine. We observe the world and we find no light in it. So, we start to have faith in heavenly things, in hope of something greater than the human condition.

We get a feeling that there's something we're missing. The world is dark and unforgiving. The only support we think we have comes from God, Christ Jesus, or some other "divine" being. So we reach out and try to contact the heavenly kingdom- we try to feel God. We let God embrace us in a sense, to the point that we are having a blissful experience. Yet inside of that, we think about God and how he is choosing to share this joyful moment with Him.

Then we feel completely sure that God exists. How could you experience bliss if he didn't exist, right? But we also get the feeling that God has control over us- he can choose what to do with us, he can take anything away from us, and he can leave us at anytime. Peace is not granted to us whenever we want. We realize that God can manipulate us.

Then we no longer experience bliss and power and peace and love. It is restricted. God chooses when you can experience Him. You are nothing without Him. You still call to the Masters and the Angels for guidance. They have power, so they can share it with you. But then we become dependent on them. You are a powerless, weak human, pleading for some guidance on how to become powerful.

You might use affirmations, saying "that which is above is that which is below," or "I am all powerful, perfect, heavenly, and divine." You have to repeat it so that you become what you are affirming. You are not the lower self, but the higher self. There is no way that you can truly be a sinful, clumsy, dark entity.

There is so much struggle, so much doubt, so much mind activity. You are fed up with yourself, but you want to ascend and become someone greater so that you can show the world that you are great. You ask for "divine" beings to help you ascend. You use visualizations to protect and clean yourself.

Then you realize something. Is everything that is heavenly the truth? Does God really exist? If we keep on telling ourselves to become one with God or that we really are one with God, then can't we just be? Wouldn't that show that we are one with God? Not only that, since you are one with God, why bother thinking about God? Thinking about God would make God exist separate from you. So you might try entering a blissful experience without the thought of God, and when it happens, it becomes more intense than it has ever been. Then you realize that the thought of God is just an illusion. There is no God. The bliss of unity is still there, stronger than ever.

Saying "that which above is that which is above" is useless. It sparks an image of the divine, and you apply it to yourself. If you use the affirmations, you wear the thought that you created, covering the awareness of who you are. If you really are divine, then you don't need to even think of divinity! You exist, there's no doubt about that! The only doubt is about who you are. Do not define yourself through images and thoughts! Then you will know who you are. Do not apply ideas like "you are a child of God" or "the Son of God" or "Christ" or "Atman"- leave it be. If you are using these ideas, you are running away from who you think you are.

You are misidentifying who you are with God. Expression of yourself is hindered by the thought that God exists or that angels exist or that anyone or anything exists other than you. It is all thoughts. You are lying to yourself twice - by believing that you are the lower self and by affirming that you are the higher self. Let it all go! Let it dissolve into the awareness of being. Misidentification has been supported by the ideas of religion, separating worldly and heavenly into two different things. Everyone is afraid to confront what is here instead of constantly making a false, illusory, weak "reality."

There is no God! There is no world! There is no thing!

The Power of Realizations

What's great about life and the way we perceive it is that we go through realizations that change everything. We go through many stages in our lives, and some of those stages could have been believed in and maintained for a very long time. But once you have a grand realization, we become disillusioned and see all the errors of the mind that we had previously. And it becomes permanent! There's no going back.

The biggest realization I had was that I was believing in unnecessary things that were actually limiting me. For example, the belief in Ascended Masters, Angels, Christ (well, as a superior presence), and even God. Now, the hierarchy that I fought to protect has disappeared. I am now more aware because of it, and I can see all the errors that I had before. You have so much more freedom, and you're basically limited by no-one but yourself.

The whole world seems more like a random series of events that we are not truly a part of. We're all playing characters, yet we forgot. I see how everyone is playing their programmed role and believing and acting by it. But this is such a great realization because you know it isn't really real. It seems kinda funny.

Anyway, I bet everyone can remember a time when they perceived the world differently, but now you know what was previously known to be true is clearly false. This will happen again and again, even if you thought you had it figured it all out. And it's not a bad thing that you might feel you've already reached the end.

Presence

I recently had a realization of how to enter and maintain a blissful awareness. When I first experienced bliss for the first time more than half a year ago, I tried to hold onto it and make it increase. I wanted more of it. But whenever I thought about it increasing, it would either stop where it is or creep slowly away. However, I now know that this is anticipation, which is also separation, so it must be an illusion. It will only amplify if you are stay with full awareness in the present moment.

It's so simple! Any effort to control it or keep it or initiate it will do nothing. It is so simple that we overlook it, which is why we continually suffer. All you have to do is be, without thinking about anything (because any that really had no absolute importance). All of your worries cover up who we are, which is this perfect awareness as bliss itself. We do not need to fight and attain anything- who we are is guaranteed to be everything we would ever want or need. The mind's attempt to create something wonderful and beautiful will never surpass the brilliance of our self.

If I try to think back on a blissful experience, I can't remember what it feels like. Imagination flat out sucks. Imagination is also of separation, because it tries to remember the past or make something new from it as a future idea. Whenever you're imagining something, you're never in the present moment.

Whatever is not present is a lie. If you sense something in the present and you think about it, it is a lie. Only the presence that cannot be thought about is true. It is just empty fullness. And within that presence, nothing can be unpleasant because none of it is a lie. All pain and distractions fall away in this presence, unless they are thought about.

So "how" you become present is this. Feel what is here now, but don't think about it. Just experience whatever is happening in this moment. As long as you stay here, bliss will intensify and amplify. But don't jump ahead of it by thinking about where it could lead! Just stay here and accept this moment with presence and awareness.

Religion is Unnecessary

I've realized that truth cannot be found in the mind. Truth cannot change, and since the mind constantly changes, it cannot be found there. Considering that, truth simply exists everywhere at every time- you don't have to attain anything to find truth.

The purpose of religion runs contradictory to this. Religion consists of attaining knowledge, information, and adopting a belief system. This is unnecessary- you don't need to do that to live the truth.

Don't you wonder what would happen to someone who had no contact with people and their cultures and belief systems? How would they find the truth. If they were born into isolation, are they doomed? Is it impossible for them to live a truthful life? Truth cannot be absent or unavailable for anyone anywhere. It is actually so simple that people completely miss it.

Religion is actually deception. It is a mind construct made of separation, so you can in no way find the oneness of life. People fall into the trap of unconsciousness, and decide to do what their mind tells them to. "If everyone believes in Jesus, why don't you?" So now all the people who don't believe in Christ or God or Christianity are considered to be wrong people. They are wrong because they don't believe that there is a Son of God who governs over and controls dirty sinners like us. Those who don't believe in inequality and hierarchies are apparently damned to hell.

But all of these believe are completely random! If you were stuck in silent darkness with no outside contact at all, how could you come to the realization of the truth as that Jesus or Krishna is the Savior, and that you must repent? That cannot be it. Thoughts are random and destructive. Belief systems based on shared thoughts don't make them true. Hey, they might look like it, but there is some loss involved in that separation. Is it possible that the truth is as simple as you exist as everything as one? Is it possible that this could only be realized outside the divided mind, outside belief and religion?

Don't let your mind make you who you are.

Life is Simple

Life is so simple that we completely miss the point. In our lives, we try to come up with a concept in order to discover the meaning of life. Once we have thought it through, we find the answer, but later our perception changes and we come up with a new definition. Yet, in order to understand life, we actually need to drop every concept we have come up with during our lives.

This is why it seems so hard. We find it necessary to structure our perceptions and create concepts in order to justify our way of living. It needs to be a specific, perhaps complicated system, like all of our present day religions. We refuse to let go of the mind, even though the simple truth will only come when the mind is silenced. Life is one and everything, so any separation involved in the understanding of life will be a false representation.

We go searching everywhere for something with meaning, something that lasts. But out in the world, we can never find satisfaction. But we go for it again and again, since we are unaware of any other options. So we hurt ourselves each time, living in separation, subject and object, and we can't accept the fact that only complete oneness and equality is eternally perfect.

Why is that so? Oneness and equality cannot bring about thought, as the mind consists of changing separation. We aren't patient enough to live oneness and equality because we have our habits and attachments that we refuse to give up. Salvation seems to not exist outside of that- it's the only thing we know and trust.

The truth of life cannot be complicated! We live unhappy, complicated lives, so it must be something very fundamental and simple that we are missing. We have to be empty in order to realize our inherent fullness, and Being is only found in not being. There are no opposites (including that of opposites vs. non-opposites), there are no hierarchies, and there is no separation in the truth of life. Life IS, so we must be HERE and let go of our patterns, traits, differences, attachments, our habits... even our minds.